was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
