I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
