just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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