You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
