I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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