why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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