You work out of a Hotel?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
