i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize