i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
