I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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