trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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