he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
