Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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