Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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