It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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