She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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