I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We had sex on a dog bed..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
