Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just threw up on my dentist
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
