spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm passing your future prison.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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