I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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