my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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