I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
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The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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