I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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