Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
