i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
