Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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