You made me cry and you don't even care
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
