he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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