I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
