Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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