I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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