Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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