i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
