the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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