I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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