Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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