So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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