I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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