Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
