this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
