Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize