you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize