Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
