They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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