ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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