i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
