He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
