halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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