yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
