But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
