did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize