oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
