That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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