Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
