I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
