I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
